Hi all, After 24 years of on and off addiction and dependancy I have realised recently that it really is me who has the problem and I can't allocate any blame on those around me anymore. I hit bottom when I lost my most recent romantic attachment, thankfully she is a very strong person who has recovered from addiction and has in essence encouraged me to find the strength to accept my addictions and finally admit them and work on ways to heal.
I have previously lost two relationships due to the same essential reasons, each creating space between myself and my children. I lost a great deal in both of those failed realationships but it took the strength of a refomed addict to assist me to become aware of my issues.
I have found my higher power again! I lost faith at 14 when my addictions started and my cycles of self destruction began. Through counselling and reasearch I have discoved childhood triggers and relationships that have assisted me to create the unhealthy links I form with others in adulthood.
This realisation has brought me closer to my higher power and has encouraged me to have the strength to turn my will and life over to my HP's care. I now feel that there is definate hope for recovery, something I've not felt in a long time.
It will take time and courage, step 4 is challenging for me and confronting but most rewarding as well. "one day at a time" the cleche train makes real sence at times!
I have even done this and informed complete strangers of my addiction and progress!
It has given me joy and reading other blogs gives me understanding that there are real struggles we go through in our lives, and I am not alone.
I thank you for this gift and hope to hear from you too. There is strength in numbers.
Lee
Tags: Alcoholdrugs Relationship Growth Step 4
Nia
