The past week has been hard as hell. I'm still jobless, might as well be homeless, I don't even own a car to get to a job if I had one. I'm still attending my AA meetings, without them I would be totally lost. On the other hand, I did get accepted back into an outpatient rehab program. I've still not used since Dec 14th, 2006. My boyfriend, is completing his 2nd month in resident treatment. I got to see him 2 weeks ago for his weekend pass to come home. It was a rough weekend to say the least. Its hard to be around someone that was not only the love of your life, but a using buddy as well. I went out and I literally applied for any job in the very small town where I reside. Jobs here are few and hard to find here. I don't care if I have to flip burgers or whatever, I just need to work. An idle mind is the devil's playground. Boredom gets me into alot of trouble sometimes. I still feel like I'm getting no where. I want a job, and my own place to live. I want to pay my own bills and feed myself. All the little things that addiction has taken from me that I didn't appreciate for so long. All I can do is hit my knees in the morning first thing, and pray to God for my sobriety, and pray that the rest will soon follow. I'm taking things One day at a time, but sometimes its difficult to live feeling worthless, and feeling like you're a child once again.
Tags: Lonely
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