Made A Mistake? Can You Admit it?
-looking at yourself daily
I’d put in a lot of hard work by the time I got through making amends.
I had had a major change in my attitude towards life by this point. Positive things were starting to happen. My self-esteem was returning. I was sleeping better at night and staying out of my own way on a more frequent basis. As a good friend of mine says, by the time I got here and was practicing what I had learned, I “had drunk the Kool Aide” and did not want to go back! Life was better.
The final parts of the steps, the actions I coach as new life “footprints”, were for the prevention of regression. They would allow me to stay healthy in my head.
The major inventory I had done earlier, using a very thorough written guide, had helped me to dig deep into the corners of my past. I had uncovered much that was hidden and forgotten, got it out, and dealt with it.
Part of the process was painful. I did not want to repeat it.
I had come to find a higher power which I understood and whose presence I could feel. I was learning to trust this higher power and stay in touch on an increasing basis. I could feel the change and many around me commented on it. Something about me was different.
I was not thinking of my addictions on a regular basis, the urge to indulge them was gone.
I began to review my actions every day. When I was involved in conflict or inner turmoil, I took the time to understand why. Perfection had not come, and I continued to make mistakes on the journey.
Sometimes I had heated words with others, particularly my wife. I freely admit that for me, the first year of recovery was a roller coaster, not a constant pink cloud!!
Something new in me, in my daily review of what had transpired, when I saw I had acted wrongly, I admitted it and tried to clean it up immediately. In some of the heated discussions, the words I had said I meant, but the way I had said them had been improper. For the tone or language I used, I took responsibility and apologized where appropriate.
This was definitely new behavior, and continues to this day!
Each day I get a little better at it, and I tend to make less “living” mistakes than I did. My addictions have not been active for thousands of days and I am grateful daily. I take responsibility for my behavior.
I am recovered from my addictions, but continue to recover on a daily basis! Even this morning I apologized for something that I said that was taken out of context, but riled a golf partner. Doing this closed a small wound someone felt.
The garbage is no longer accumulating, and life is brighter!!
A sign of growth. When I make a mistake, I admit it and put it behind. Could this behavior benefit you?
Tags: Addictions Mentor Life Transformation Coach
