So I’ve Got A List. Willing??/Addiction Recovery/Life Balance
So I had a list of people I had harmed. Some of them were jerks. I am not willing right now to make amends. They did me more harm than I did them and some of them really deserved all that I did.
I felt these feelings towards some on my list back then, and certainly was not WILLING to make amends to a few. This included an ex-wife who I was really pissed at over things that had happened when and after we split. I was indignant about some of her actions.
Even recently, I have had things come up which I felt were really not my fault, but today, willingness comes much easier. Today I am responsible for my own role in situations, and usually when things hit the fan, I’ve had my little hand in there some where.
There were several on my list that I was willing to make amends to. No qualms about it, I had been wrong, and had carried guilt and/or shame about things for a long time. With these folks, it was easy to take the next step and make a footprint for myself.
I reflected long and hard on the few people where willingness was an issue. I certainly discussed specifics with my coaching team.
Why had their names appeared on my list?
Obviously, there was garbage I was carrying around about them. Through conversations, prayer and meditation, and knowing I wanted to get rid of my internal garbage, I became reluctantly and selfishly willing; but willing just the same.
This action piece was far more difficult than I imagined, and it was only making a list and becoming willing to make amends for my actions. I also feared a few situations I knew that were coming at the next stage!
So I made a list, and eventually became willing. For those of you who are on your own journey, or have been through this phase in reclaiming your life, you’ll be able to relate easily to what I’m saying.
For those who want a new and more abundant life with renewed hope and serenity daily, and are trudging this road to happy destiny, you find your own stuck points here. That so and so! Me, willing? But you will become so.
Tags: Keith Bray Addictions Mentor Life Transformation Coach Addiction Recover
