Ready For Some Tough Stuff?
Even doing a list can hurt!
Back into action!
The next thing on the agenda is to make a list of people we had harmed along the way, and became willing to make amends. Really two things, so I deal with one at a time.
In doing my inventory, I identified quite a few people I had harmed along the way, with the worst harm naturally done to those I am closest to. What a surprise. With the selfish way I carried on, the entitlements I thought I had, there were a number of people I had winged. As well, my career had been very good, and I had occupied positions of major responsibility and had responsibility for the job well being of hundreds. While I had done a good job in general, there were certainly a few who I hammered along the way. Never back stabbing, but hurting their careers, and in some casers hurting them for doing the things I got away with. Hard to be fooled by a duck when you are one!! Ironic how that works.
My list had several names on it including an ex-wife, some of her family, and of course my spouse and kids and more.
No where in my program does it say to list me as one I had done harm to. I had got hurt along the way and had to recover my own self-esteem, but not as part of this process.
There were people on my list who had stuck it to me fairly bad, and I had certainly found ways to get even. They begrudgingly went on the list.
The name of the game was to list people where I felt pangs of guilt for my behavior, and being me, I had to put personal grudges and the like aside.
I put the list together primarily based on things from my inventory and included employers I had cheated on and lied to, and the like.
The list was not super long, but long enough. It is amazing how in active addiction and being totally selfish and insecure, how you can damage people along the trail and in most cases never intend to!
The list in itself was tough stuff, but when I got to this point, I was ready to do it.
Tomorrow I’ll look at the tough part, to become willing. Really emotional when I looked at some.
The next piece of this journey was tough stuff. Will you be ready when you get there?
Tags: Keith Bray Www.hopeserenity.ca Addictions Mentor Life Coach
