I'm a sex and love addict. And I hate that label..really, really hate "addict". So, I try to forget about it. I tell myself I never really had a problem. But I do, and it rears its ugly, soul numbing, horrible self! That would be now. I had a relapse and with this addiction, for me, that just leads to going on to the next level. My relapse was with having phone sex and the next thing is a desire to meet up with a man at his hotel. The addict tells me that I want to do this and I'll feel so good and it will make things great in my life. Even though I haven't forgotten about how I'll will feel like hell afterwards and hate myself and the shame will be painful. The addict is so convincing that this is what I want! I want to be told I am pretty, loved, sexy, smart..blah blah blah. Just feed me the lines. I want that so much. It's just a lie though. That man isn't going to fill the hole in my soul. So, I went to a 12 step meeting and I told the group about it and I cried and cried because you know, it really feels bad and hurts a lot. I just wanted to share my struggle and I know you will understand because I read about your struggles too. Thank you.
Tags: Sex Addiction Love Addiction Relapse
