Do You Ever Feel Alone? (Even in a crowd)
I am going to get back to the journey’s footprints soon; I’ve got to review the things done to free me from the past.
With a couple of things that happened during my Wednesday, it was great to feel comfortable in my own skin, and great to know I’m no longer alone.
Early this morning, I headed the car north east. The sun was just coming up and I was thrilled to experience the joy of a new day. I was in the car alone, and just enjoyed the ride. No radio or tapes to occupy my mind. This is something I could not have done before the journey to a new life began. My mind was occupied enough just “being”, enjoying what I was experiencing, and feeling that connected feeling inside. I wasn’t alone.
Just about a year ago now, my life took a huge bump that was totally unexpected, and extremely hard to deal with. Even in the new life I’ve chosen, there are some strange and twisted curves. I know that my higher power never gives me more than I can handle if I listen to the quiet voice inside. As dark turned to light, I knew I wasn’t alone. I was ready to hold my head high and face things.
Wednesday evening, I attended a meeting which was the last official function I had overseen a year ago. I was almost terrified to go because there was a piece of “hurt” that I would be facing. But go I did. I had always accepted honestly within me what had happened; I had made an error, but an error without dishonesty on my part. It was a real reminder that I am capable of bad judgment if I don’t trust instincts and I allow myself to be deceived. I had conscious contact during the entire meeting, got a good lesson in right sizing again, and was able to feel very good about the positives that had happened outside of the specific event failure. I also got to say a sincere thank you to some people that circumstances had not let me see in a year! My terror at being there was totally unjustified, and I was not alone at all.
I remember, from something I heard at another function Wednesday evening, the times I would be at work gatherings, social events and the like, and feel alone. Mood altering substances were my answer to fitting in. I never felt that I belonged or was anyone’s “best” friend, and extended time alone was agony. I was often alone amongst people. I know many have felt this way and if they’re honest, can easily relate. Are you one of them?
As noted, today I am no longer alone, even if there is no other human around. I’ve got a “me” whose company I enjoy, and in quiet moments, if I stay out of my way and allow myself to see, hear and feel, there is a spirit within me, and all that is around me, that gives me comfort, and for that I am grateful.
Do you ever feel alone, even when there are others around? I work with clients to help them find an abundant space in which they experience hope and serenity, and are never alone!
Thanks Ralph for your thoughts that triggered this.
Tags: Keith Bray Addiction Mentor Recovery Www.hopeserenity.ca
