These past 5-months have been very active for me. It's been about me becoming active in my recovery.
I was chatting - online - with a friend of mine who wrote that she had wished her "issues were as easy as taking something away".
This has become a lifestyle change for me. It's not as easy just taking something away. It's frequent meetings (anywhere between 4-10 per week, depending on moods), group therapy (once a week), and counseling with my Case Manger (once every other week). It's a day-t-day lifestyle change.
My group therapy has increased from 6 to 10 people in less than two weeks. Many are transitioning from the three-days a week program to the one night a week. We were able to give introductions to the whole group, so everyone is caught up about "what is was like, what got us here, and what is is like now".
My story is told in this general way: I've been using and drinking since I was 13/14-years old. When I got in trouble, I learned for a bit, before going out and doing the same thing. This behavior continued after I joined the Marine Corps. I drank (didn't use because of the drug testing in the service) almost everyday for 2-years while stationed in Oki. I also found that I never had a relationship that didn't involve drinking (I met every guy I've been with through drinking). This was obvious in the creation of my beliefs that drinking = relationships (whether sexual or acceptance). The drinking took me to another level of addiction - the sexual addiction. Looking for Love in all the wrong places! I've accepted that my drinking had become progressive: it didn't matter the degree of trouble I experienced, I'd "quit" for awhile, then, slowly start drinking again. I also discovered that the more I drank, the more I forgot about my Higher Power - my God- then, the more I went back to the wrong places. I got to recovery based on a my psychiatrist's "suggestion" that I visit the Chemical Dependency department for a screening. I thought it was a way to help me deal with my son's dual-diagnosis. Now, here I am today. Five months later. Clean and sober and not wanting to go back to the drama of drinking.
It's work living life! As my parents always told me: No one said life was easy, nor life is fair.
Living life on life's term...By The Grace of God...One Day at a Time... and remembering to Keep It Simple.
Did I happen to mention I'm getting inked again. I have an appointment today at 4pm. My new addiction? ha!
