A weekend just over and a time to reflect! Interesting things happened, and I’m always amazed at how they are dealt with.
Mother’s day is a good bench mark for me on progress. I, like many men, did not have a good relationship with my mother, and for along time, I resented her and blamed her for many things. Over the past decade, I’ve done a lot of work in that area, and much progress has been made. Over the last number of month’s I’ve worked with a “Life Coach” down in Kentucky who specializes in guilt, the last feeling I had as the mother relationship evolved (resentments went years ago).
Something has worked. I’ve gone through a number of months, and now a Mother’s Day actually feeling compassion towards my mother! This was probably the best I felt in my adult life going through a Mother’s Day. I was there with her, and both of us enjoyed. This is progress.
Our adult children, each in their own way, made Mother’s day special for Diane, and I know she enjoyed it.
Unfortunately, I’ve had one of my adult children do a very selfish thing which has negatively impacted our personal financial situation. I see in her so many things that I recognize as behavior I might have done years ago, and to put it simply, I se her failing to take responsibility for her own actions, accept what is, and deal with it in a practical way.
It’s a pity. As she has run around seeking sympathy from her siblings, she is slowly starting to split a family apart. As hard as I try to react in a “perfect” way, I am reminded of my own shortcomings when cruel reality lands in my own back yard.
Another good reminder, this whole thing started with daughter creating secrets among family members. In active addiction and in lives that are in a down cycle, secrets are such a huge part of the problem, and they hurt all that are entwined in them.
Years ago, and as part of this journey called life, I set a personal objective to be a more transparent human being and not accumulate and carry a lot of baggage. I work very hard at being consistent and the same person to me and to all others. I try not to attempt fooling myself, and when I make mistakes, I try to admit them promptly and move on.
Funny, as I sit here this morning, there is a lot going on, and a lot happened over the weekend. Today I will spend some much needed time in meditation. I am sure that the things going on in my head will settle, and I will emerge with a much clearer vision of what must be done now, and serenity battery charged.
At this stage of my life, my relationship with my immediate family is the most important thing to me outside of my relationship with my higher power, and I feel real pain when I see our family unit negatively impacted by behavior I understand so well. Even worse, when I see those I love in denial and not accepting what is happening. This does cause pain. I pray for more wisdom in this area of life.
It’s funny, my life’s work and hard study have prepared me for Life Coaching. To formalize the practice of coaching, to try and get others to understand what it is a coach does and to build a client base has been a much slower process than I envisioned. I certainly have done soul searching about the decision I’ve made, and feel as strongly as ever that I am doing what is my life’s purpose at this point in my life.
Things are work in progress.
I will differentiate my coaching programs between a program focused on addiction recovery, a program focused on transformation to a stronger sense of spirituality and purpose, and a program geared to people who just want to harness their internal talents and achieve very practical goals. There is a common element to success in all three of these areas.
The greatest thing for me is that my journey has brought me in to conscious contact with a higher power, and I know if I stay in touch with this source and stay out of my own way, things will work out as they should.
As I begin a new week and finally have some real quiet time, I accept what has gone on over the past 72 hours, and am committed to doing in the now the things that need to be done. I will act responsibly, stay out of my own way, accept what is, give to others, and move in the direction that is meant to be!
Clarity in thought will come as it is intended! I’ve got to be prepared to see it!
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