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Day 2 and feeling very resentful
Posted On 05/07/2008 03:27:42 by soldierswife

Hi again..Thanks everyone for your supportive words and encouragement they are so greatly needed and appreciated..

So my hubby has been deployed since August of 2007. Latley, he will make "dates" to call me or chat with me on instant messenger and then not do either. I can understand that he gets busy over there and thinks happen but it's the fact that he doesn't all the time now..

He called yesterday and made a "im date" with me for last night. My friend invited me over to watch a movie at her house but I turned her down because I had the IM date with hubby on line. Yeah...He never got on line...again..However I saw that he has a comment on his my space from his sister going on about how nice it was to talk to him...

Guess he decided that talking to his evil sister was more important then keeping his IM date with me..You know what? That really hurts my feelings and causes me to feel "stood up" , "blown off" and taken for granted..I feel resentful...very resentful right now..

 So I have been contemplating sending him an email explaining how I feel when he doesn't keep our phone or internet dates..And to explain to him that I won't rearrange my plans to sit by the phone or computer when he says he is going to make contact with me anymore. It just screws up my schedule and my plans and I end up feeling resentful...Right now...I have to take care of myself and avoid allowing myself to be set up for feeling resentment..thats one of my main drinking triggers..

Any wisdom or advice would be most appreciated..thanks everyone!

Tags: Hurt And Resentment



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Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: DennisS
05/07/2008 06:44:45

Check out http://myrecoveryspace.com/blog/view/id_3414/title_resentments/.



From: Nia
05/07/2008 06:41:50

Let him know how you feel by all means- the hard part may be

striking a balance with the words you use- sounds like you plan to use 'I statements' and that will help him understand you are owning your feelings-     Nia

From: DennisS
05/07/2008 06:41:29

     Is there any possiibility that he has any resentments towards you? Ever break any promises to him? Fail to meet any of his expectations?
       I  found when I look into the facts around a resentmet deep enough I could usually trace things like this back to the source - and it ws me. 99 out of 100 were self inflicted. H*ll, after I weighed everythin out, I was lucky my mate didn't pack and leave ten years ago.
     Just a thought...
Take care,
Dennis

From: jd
05/07/2008 04:15:27

you expected him to call and he didn't.  exptectations = resentments.

go to your friends next time.  does she have a comp?  sign on over there.

work on it, it will work out.

only my opinion.  do whatever you want with it.

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