Yesterday, I decided to make the stupidest mistake of my life. I lied to my parents about my whereabouts. They found out that I was lying, and my brother and mom threw a tantrum. Out of everyone, my father was the kindest to me.
Basically, I was found out because I got lost, and took the wrong turn, and ended up somewhere in Lakehurst... so yeah. My friend (who I went out to see), paid for a full tank of gas for me, and then escorted me back home.
The entire way, I was bawling at the wheel, asking God to guide me safely home. Whilst bawling, I went into the opposite lane, switched over into other lanes frequently, and didn't put on my lights...that was, until people honked me. It's almost a miracle I didn't have a citizen's warrant for reckless driving put over me.
I know what I did was stupid...and I owned it up to my mom that my depression was back again, and was more severe. She listened, and suggested we go back for therapy...she was just disgusted that we didn't have as close-knit a relationship as she thought we did, because I "hid" things from her.
Funny thing is, they had no problem with the guy I was going to hang out with...they said I should've invited him closer to home. From now on, he agreed to picking me up if he wanted to hang out with me.
It all just feels like a bad dream now...the numbness has already settled in. It feels like I'm just some mechanical marionette right now...I'm not even myself.
Anyway, today's my brother's birthday, so I figured I'd make him breakfast...I think for now I'll bring breakfast to my parents first, though, since they're both up.
Cheerio for now.
+R
Tags: Depression
