While I've been in Recovery, I've been gaining knowledge about why I started, what happened, and what do I do now. The Recovery Program Ive been attending has three different phases.
Phase I: (a) 21 day program, with seven outside meetings, and/or (b) 3 months, 4-nights a week with four outside meetings. Some individuals enter at either step, depending on their case.
Phase II: #1(a) 21 day program, then, (b) 6 months, 3-nights a week with three-four outside meetings; or Phase II #2 (a) 3 months, 3-nights a week with three outside meetings.
Phase III, (a) 12months, 1-night a week with two-three outside meetings.
I started the Phase II #2 on January 8th. I am graduating this week (Thursday) and will start my Phase III next week on Wednesday evenings.
Before moving from Phase II to Phase III, the individual has to present a "Step One" to the group. The purpose of this step is to acknowledge "powerless" and "unmanageability" in our own life. I presented my last Thursday (3/27). I'll share these questions and my responses.
Three things that I did when using alcohol or other drugs - things that you would not do when sober.
(1) Driving with broken wrists
(2) Buying $5,000 worth of cigars
(3) Falling asleep in my garage
Three ways I violated my own value system when using alcohol or other drugs.
(1) family values
(2) finances
(3) personal welfare
Three personality changes that occurred when I was using alcohol or other drugs.
(1) I became obnoxiously loud
(2) I was a daredevil
(3) I was a big spender
Three time I tried to quit and resumed using:
*I never tried to "quit" forever, but there were many episodes when I would stop drinking for awhile.
(1) Mornings after: hangovers and blackouts I've said: "I'm never gonna do that again!"
(2) Broke my wrists
(3) after the DUI in my car
Three times I physically hurt myself or others as a result of using:
(1) broken wrists
(2) skinned, now scarred, knee
(3) bruised hip
How else has powerlessness revealed itself in my own personal experience:
When trying to work or babysit while hungover; Losing friends
How has my body been hurt?
Broken bones, possible alcohol poisoning, memory loss.
Three examples of personality traits that block me from admitting powerlessness:
(1) Pride
(2) Intelligence
(3) Strength
What convinces me that I can no longer use alcohol or drugs safely?
Although I can stop after having one drink (sometimes I didn't even finish my beer!), the frequency I drink excessively was overwhelming.
Are you an alcoholic or chemically dependent person? I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. I smoked pot. Almost too much. I never went out looking it, but when I got offered some, I smoked excessively. I have an addictive personality - I cannot use "safely".
What does unmanageability mean to you?
Not maintaining a continuity in areas of life: i.e. meeting deadline or doing what is expected.
Three incidents that took place while I was using that led me to feel shame:
(1) Financial insecurities
(2) Missed work deadlines
(3) Lied
Give examples of my behavior when I tried to "quit without a program."
Isolation of myself from others. I was angry, overcontrolling, overconfident.
Three examples of how alcohol and drug use interfered with personal goals:
(1) Job advancement (complacency, felt too comfortable where I was at)
(2) Savings
(3) Honesty
Three examples of feelings that I tried to alter by using chemicals:
(1) anger
(2) disappointment
(3) sensitivity
Three examples of healthier ways I've learned to deal with my feelings
(1) talk them out
(2) knowledge
(3) prayer & meditation
Chances are that some crisis brought you to recovery. What crisis besides this one would have eventually happened if I kept using?
A DUI, A trip to the hospital for alcohol poisoning, or death
What changes in my life do I hope to make sobriety?
To handle life on life's term and to live one-day at a time.
Write six personal promises I hope to keep in recovery:
(1) Prayer (talking to God)
(2) Meditation (listening to God)
(3) Going to meetings
(4) Working the Steps - everyday
(5) Keeping it Real-Honest
(6) Journaling, self-Inventory
Helping others
Calling my sponsor
Keep Learning about Recovery
And I'll keep coming back!
Tags: Steps Alcohol Acceptance Powerlessness Unmanageability
