Ditto to everything previous. that person that was so full of life. that person that was fighting for her right to lovingly carry the message to others is still in there. its time to take time to show yourself that same love. and honey, i am you , i understand exactly what your going through. i have had and still do at times had those feelings that i was never gonna be good enough. that nothing i did or tried was going to change that. so i'd give up. whats so great in my life that its worth fighting for. its just to darn hard right? but just read below theres people willing to fight right along side you. people that love you so much it hurts them to see you like this almost as much as it hurts you to feel this way. and they're willing to share the load so you don't have to bear it all alone. and these are just people online. i can only imagine how many there are in your fellowship. bottom line hun is we're here and we ain't goin nowhere. and we'll love you so hard its crazy. until your again feeling like that same bright eyed girl that was here just a short time ago. and you can again love yourself.
  do me a favor take that day off today. get out of the norm. go to a meeting that you haven't been to in awhile and just sit and listen. then go do some crazy off the wall random act of kindness for someone you don't even know. then go treat yourself to something. i don't know a new hairdo or something. color it green or something. maybe even a bubble bath something that says i love you. or that its ok to laugh at myself. and at the end of the day watch the sunset and say to yourself that beautiful veiw was just for me. i am worth all that and more. then sit down in a quiet place and list the things your greatful for. starting with just the things that happened today and see how much it grows.

now close your eyes cause i can't be there in person. imagine you have a slightly big boned,  half bald, darn near middle aged recovering junkie giving you one of the biggest hugs you ever had. we love you girl. and stop beating the sh*t out of our freind.

billy

I'm sorry you're hurting, but- to jump on Tina and Dennis' bandwagon, you are far more loved and beautiful than you give yourself credit for. You just have to believe it... Depression sucks, IMO, and it's so toxic to our souls. Believe me when I tell you I empathize... When we get stuck in our
heads and feeling sorry for ourselves, the depression siphons any
motivation we have to do anything. But you do have options. You can take action and change the situation that gets you down. Such as moving to a different place or taking a day or two of respite...just for yourself. All it takes is the willingness to make one small step...

You are special, and you are in my prayers.

I'll echo Tina. You are special, needed and loved. And yes, please talk to someone - it can help stop the walls from closing in...
Take care,
Dennis

I wish I could hug you right now and say it's going to be ok.  It's a tough fight and yes, it gets old and tiresome.  I want to say, "Don't stop before the miracle happens" but I'm sure you are exhausted.  I'm going to pray real hard for you and please call someone if you do get to that "no other option" point.... OK??? 
YOU ARE SPECIAL.... You are loved.