Hello to every one..!
I know I haven't been around much lately...things have just been happening all over the place...life has become rather draining...can't really complain (to much) but I just have never had so much happen at once..
New job is official.. I start Feb.5th. Already spent one day there.. seemless intergration...I am so lucky...this is the single greatest opportunity for me that has ever crossed my path. A message for the new comers... I can't say that, "this all happened because of Sobriety..", actually, it's more like, "I've always had the ability to get a job like this, but because I'm not f**ked up any more, I can now KEEP IT..!" Sobriety didn't give me brains, it cleared up my brain for ease of use..!! Oh.. and of course..being Spiritually grounded make life alot easier as well..! The only part I don't like about this, the part that is stressing me out.. my old place is more than likely going to close in my absence...the other employees are either to greedy, don't have the drive, don't really give a shit.. or all of the above..and it's a shame..the program has showed me the meaning of personal responsibility, and self respect...don't mean to talk s**t here, but maybe a few normies out there out'a get a program.. might do them some good. But I can't stop the business from falling.. it's not mine to defend..i've done my part and it's time to go...This is my Karmanic right to accept what is being offered to me and I cannot deny or refuse.. "as above, so below". This opportunity was created because it is what I wanted, needed, and is what is best for me...
My room mate just informed me that I'm typing really hard.. (oops) guess i'll settle down. Any ways.. my last day is coming.. and I look forward to my new place..and they look forward to having me...that part good...
NO MORE SOBER LIVING..!! I mean the house, not the lifestyle...my own room..! My own lock..! No more hearing my roomates farting and burping in the middle... well, the middle of anything you can be in the middle of...so.. yeah.. i am so shopping for things..
And the girl..wow..she is great. We are just friends, but it's nice to be in her company..she offers me tee..!! But now.. u-oh..a distraction just popped up out of no where...
"dear _____, please don't let me screw this up..."
Now, this place.. here.. My Recovery Space has become a really great place for me.. I have friends here..I have folks I actually care about...and I seem to accumulate more as the days go on..alot of you have sent me well wishes regarding my brother.. and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart...but keep them coming...it turned out to be cancer. So yeah.. my older brother, the guy I grew up loving to hate.. and hate so much sometimes because I love him so much has stage 3 cancer in his brain.. what that means, dunno.. but i'm sure anything past stage 1 most likely isn't concidered good. Once again.. mom is stressed because he jokes..and me... well.. not quite sure what to really feel..they seem to be all tide up (my feelings) in other things right now so they are spread pretty thin. Oh, know when i found out..?? Day before my 33rd birthday which was last friday.. I sort of unofficially cancelled that day this year..but it's just sort of making lite one strange thing...
It's all happening at once...
Never give up...you want it.. you got to fight..drinking and using is not an option..and to use is to die..
Things are good, stressfull, but good.. except for my bro...I can handle my job.. but it's up to my Higher power to take care of him...
So tired.. time for bed..
To all of you who actually read my blogs.. you rock..and thank you for your prayers and well wishes...thank each and every single one of you..
Thanks..
~anjil~
Tags: Tired
