today was one of the best days of my life. my college ball team just won the odac tourny. thats a big deal where im from and we fight the whole season to get to it. no one thought we would win. we were the true underdogs. the number 6 seed (us) knocked off the number 1 seed this afternoon for the championship. we cut down the net and cried tears of joy. this day made me think... 57 to 56. i had one point :)
last year i was hospitalized because of my self injury. right smack in the middle of basketball season. it has cost me friends, trust, reputation, and many college oppourtunities. i was blessed with coaches who understand and were willing to work with me. and i guess through this day i think about what i would have missed if i would still be stuck acting out my addiction. all i wanted to do was be alone with it. and that ruined a lot of things. but by the grace of God and his strength in me i have been able to say "clean" for almost 9 months now. im going to college and playing for the team. we just won the ship. im getting good grades. im happy with out meds. and im working the steps. none of this would have been possible with out a spiritual experience my God opend my eyes too.
a lot of days i ask myself is it worth it. stinkin thinkin happens a LOT in my mind. but every day i think of how greatful i am to be where i am now in my recovery. to be cut free. out of hospitals. not ruining relationships and making progress. im taking care of myself. and im loving every minute of it. i guess im writing this to read during those stinkin thinkin days. this day will be remembered for ever.... :)
