I am going to meetings to keep up what I have managed to do for all these years. That is to stay relatively clean. My husband has left me in such an awful state emotionally that I live everyday for my children rather than myself. I have lost a great deal of self worth and confidence in me. All those things that I have been told have come back to eat at me....so I go to meetings because I know I can fall back into my ways very easily. Lots of people want to see me in a better place and try to set me up with people but I am so broken in myself I can't even imagine how I ever could. It is hard to be aware of my feelings and my hurt so much and I would love nothing more to be numb as I feel. I know I can't.
~Ruby
