02/05/2008 14:43:03

I too can relate.  Sometimes our 'friends' put us down to make themselves feel better.  People often don't even realize they are doing it.  It's like they have plenty of faults but if they can make yours front and center then they don't have to deal with theirs.

I am 45 years old and my father still tells me that I will never be 'skinny'.  He always uses the analogy: You can't make a doberman out of a rottweiler!  In case you never noticed, dobermans look a bit like really skinny rottweilers.

Take the other comments to heart.  I really don't think there is anything I can add to what they said.  Don't beat yourself up - there are too many people out there who are more than willing to do it.  Girlfriend, give the positive affirmations a try.  Hold your head up and even if you have to pretend at first - act like you are 'all that!'  Before long you will believe it and others will too.

I'm no beauty queen and have battled my weight all my life.  I still have to fight off the stupid comments that people make - mostly the ones closest to me.  Some days are better than others and I don't always take my own advice.  But try being your own best friend for a while and I'll try it too.  Deal?

02/05/2008 03:38:42

I can also relate, and all too well... However, Sunflower and Dennis made the best comments. People can somehow sense the crappy vibe that we perceive about ourselves and quite often gets reflected back. Others can act like jerks as they're giving in to peer pressure. Kinda shows the insecure self-perception they carry within themselves, doesn't it?

There are many overweight celebrities out there who have also been scrutinized, but also possess exceptional views about who they are as people and are very well loved - like Queen Latifah (as was already mentioned), John Candy and Delta Burke...to name a few. 

It is interesting too that Sunflower mentioned the film, "What the Bleep?" as I recently blogged about perceptions (in life and recovery), and also quoted a physicist who appeared in the above mentioned film. You might want to read it. :) 

Shallow people are a dime'o dozen... Which reminds me of that sarcastic quote: "Opinions are like a**holes. Everyone has 'em." But remember too, that not everyone is shallow, and people often grow out of that childish mentality sooner or later; seeing and appreciating you for the person you are. Looks, after all, fades.

Hang in there... We're here for you, and don't give up! 

02/04/2008 20:14:03

     Sunflower is 100% right on. People react to how you feel about yourself. It is a matter of perception - how you perceive yourself and the world around you. Work to change that perception, and everything changes around you.

     People not only can be cruel, but many people say and do hurtful things out of spite or to look good to their so-called friends. Such people are beneath notice and only deserve pity if anything. They are shallow creatures that will never know true friendship.

Take care and don't give up,

Dennis

02/04/2008 18:16:38

I'm 41 years old and I can relate.  Feeling fat is awful but I will tell you what- it isn't really about that.  It's about feeling good about who you are inside.  Think about Queen Latifah.  She is a beautiful woman and you can tell she feels good about herself.  When you feel good about yourself people can sense that.  I started saying affirmations.  "I am a beautiful person.  People want to be my friend."  Pick an affirmation that works for YOU and start saying it every day even though you might not believe it or it sounds corny to you.  After awhile it becomes like a mantra.  Changes start.  Did you see that movie "What the Bleep"?  That's a good one for finding out how what we think about ourselves has an impact on who we are.  We are all wonderful beings made by God and God doesn't make mistakes.  People can be cruel and especially young adults.  That part sucks!  But if you start being your own best friend meaning loving yourself then the mean people just won't count in your world.  You'll be able to walk away from them.  You are so lucky to get to work on this now.  I wish I could have done it years earlier then I wouldn't have had to go through years and years of pain. You sound like a very kind and caring person.  I bet so many people will be wanting to be your friend because you will understand what it feels like to have an addiction and you will do your best not to hurt others like your friend hurts people.