i am sure i picked the wrong sponsor, now. :( i called her yesterday, bawling and ready to use and she spent less than 2 mins on the phone with me and then told me she had to go eat dinner. i would have gone to a dealers house if my kid hadnt come in and given me a hug and just said, "just get to a mtg tonight, mom" that gave me the strength and conviction to drag my butt into the mtg and share about what i was going thru. i got a lot of support from the women there. and i felt better afterwards. i even got invited to go bowling! which helped relieve some frustration. i only bowled a 50 the 1st game and an 83 the 2nd, but it was fun and productive in more ways than one. today i have a bunch of crap to do. i had a using friend talk to me this am and ask me to take her to a mtg with me. i told her i would but i wanted her to just listen, and only share that she is a newcomer.cuz i know she was using last night. i dont want to be responsible for someone that has NO clean time. i dont even really want to be around her, cuz i know how i will feel. and i am not very strong yet. maybe i can get someone else to take her with me. if she waits till tomorrow after she has slept i think i will be ok. im glad i made it thru another day clean. it aint easy but it should be worth it, i am hoping. it is hard to see at this point. but i will keep at it at least for today. thanks for listening to me vent. peace and happy blessings..........
