Hey there..just checking in as the title suggest. eads just sorta been in the clouds and well..let's just say that there is also plenty of smog up here to go with it. Starting to get a little blahhh if you know what I mean...
My brother is doing ok..complaining of a head ache (go figure). he's just kind of lost as is the rest of us. We just don't really know whats going on till we get the test back, till then, its limbo...not a place I'd wanna be, but now my brother has to go through it..it sucks..
As for me personally.. i actually feel as though time is being wasted (again) Sober..yes. Job, life in general, work..all fine. But still...it's like..is this it..?? i know, "you should be greatful for what you have son, others out there have so much less." Well, then they need to get thier ass a job and go to a meeting. I'm concerned with MY LIFE at the moment... I should be recording music..but it's hard here. (sober living) And the motivation here sucks as well.. Hard to record a vocal track with out someone questioning what's going on. I do stuff that is very non-conventional and is very private. And I'm not Justing Timberlake. Picture Justin being put through a meat grinder with the audio being recorded and passed through a delay and distortion, and wa-la..! You have my sound. Though the video of said performance wouldn't be half bad either. Any ways.. that is one thing hanging over my head..
Next...I have over a year..a date would be nice..!! But since video taping the act of putting Justin Tiberlake through a meatgrinder is my idea of a good time, that makes it pretty hard for me to find just the right girl. I may be in L.A. But in my area, I still don't have to much in common with very many folks in the program. Now..I did meet this one person. Online that is..you know..since actually running into people on the street and talking face to face is just like sooo cliche. This girl is absolutley beautiful..!! A she wants to go out with me.. like this Wednesday. Problem..?? She has no idea i'm in the preogram. I almost (almost) feel like I'm lying to her..isn't that just a great way to start something out..with a lie..?? I don't like lying to to people. It's not in my charactor. Brutal truths are more my style..but by NOT saying something, isn't that just as bad...? I ask her how her weekend was..her responce: Corset too tight (Gothic night club, I'm in L.A. remember..??) Danced, and drank to much. She's not a drunk..just your average normy who likes to have a good time.
Dunno....I do need to record. That always makes me feel better. But what to do about my girl situation..? Dating in recovery sucks. If I blow her off, I'll regret never knowing.. but if it fails, then I don't want to feel "stuck". Oh well.. I'll just do my laundry instead..at least the feeling of accomplishment when I'm done is pretty satisfying..
Ok.. thanks for your time. Hope you all are well.
Luv ya all..!
~anjil~
