To Will it All to God; I made a Promise this weekend to myself, most all of the weekend was texting and reading the Bible. Interesting combination. It kept me calm, gave me insight to understanding (alot of things), and it kept me clear of all anger. It was a weekend I think of feeling every possible emotion. Scared, happy, frustrated, calm, serene, tired, depressed, even deeper depression, I literally forced myself off the couch and took care of my most wonderful companion, my dog! Then being lite headed I thought I hadn't eaten, so got some food, didn't eat much, but it was something. Then got to this site,!!!!!! :) I finally uploaded my real pic, (that is just a fear thing with me) and then I updated my profile to the truth, with the exception of the start of my story, I started mixing drinks when I was about 4 yrs old, climbing up on a ricketey 3 ft. wooden step later. I think my first definition to a word was the word "schosh" and a second definition to the word "splash". Instructions to mixing the drinks. This was a typical Friday night event poker and me being the drink getter, and watching the fights. Saturday was a repeat with the exception of I learned how to dance from the Laurence Welk Show, and my aunts and uncles. There is the start to my story.
After this weekend, by Sunday I decided I can not do this anymore, I can't. I even feel my morals were compromised and not by me. What a horrible feeling, (its one thing when we do it ourselves and somehow justify it to make it right) But, when someone else does it and you are so blind to the fact that it is actually happening. Well WOW, what a different feeling that is. I made some choices, I made some calls, and ended up leaving messages. But, I tried again to correct these wrongs.
After loging off this site, and feeling like I have made the right choices, (making these corrections, and hopefully accepting my apoligies). I brushed myself off (literally) and got down on my knees and Prayed to God, and made a Promise to myself with Him as my witness. EVERY MORNING I will Pray to God, #1) For Being Grateful, #2) Thanking God for taking on All my problems that are too much for me to bare, and what ever else I need to Pray about, or for another, etc.
AND I DID IT. MY FIRST PROMISE, I DID IT
I think it felt so good this morning, that I Prayed again in the shower, and I Prayed again in the truck on my way to work, to me for the First Promise it FELT WONDERFUL !!!!
And difficult to explain or even understand, I wasn't surprized when it worked; I LET GO AND LET GOD AND I CANNOT EXPRESS HOW GOOOOOD IT FEEEELLSSSS, I am teary eyed from being Happy, the feeling of the warmth of Gods arms around me !!!!!
I just wanted to SHARE this wonder GROUND MOVING EXPERIENCE. I owe most of this to this site, meaning ALL OF YOU, And to God for guiding me in this direction at this right moment.
Now, I know not everyday will be a WONDERFUL DAY; But, it shows me I can do it, and I can see where I can turn this into a wonderful habit !!!
I still have some serious issues I have to deal with, But, I know I'm truely not alone now, and it isn't scary anymore.
I know there is still Sadness in my Heart, but God will guide me to what I need to do and or not do.
I went to a meeting today at work and I am listening to the person speaking, and it was like God was answering some of my questions (that I talked to Him earlier about) And I found myself actually staring at the person talking, It did not shock me or surprize me but I knew it was God answering me! It was a wonderful feeling that I was aware that this oppurtunity was there, and that I really LET GOD IN MY HEART !!!!
&nb sp; wow......thank U.
Thanks for letting me share this with ALL OF U, THIS SPIRTUAL AWAKENING THAT HAPPENS AT ANY MOMENT !!!!!
LUV U,
jackie
Tags: Enthusiastic
