In mid October, my existing group of friends in Ireland met two new friends. We hung out constantly, and one of the new girls even opened up to me quite a bit. Then, one of my pre existing friends went back home, and suddenly the new girls don't want anything to do with me. Before he left they were talking about what we should do for Christmas. Now I phoned one of them twice to see what was up with Christmas and all I get is a text back saying 'Sorry I missed your call, if I don't see you before Christmas have a good one!'
This is absolutely enraging my insecurities. Why am I not good enough to continue spending time with them? Why don't they like me? Just like that, it doesn't matter that I have so many other people around me who have liked me enough to stay my friends for years. My entire self esteem is wound up in what these two people think of me. And the truth is, maybe they just decided they didn't like me. Maybe the one who opened up to me is now running away from intimacy. I don't know. And I can't force anyone's affection, can't force anyone to stay around. I just have to let them go.
