Monday November 1st I was five years sober. The past few weeks have been a time for reflection and remembering when.

My last run my good friend/ex-roomate Tom drove for over an hour at 1 in the morning to get Me out of yet another jam. As we where driving to his house he said: "This is it, you can stay tonight but I want you gone tomorrow morning." It was right then I knew I was completly alone. The very last peron that ever cared for Me was out of my life.

My mission was now ac... Read More

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There are tools that are always put in place, no matter what aspect of life we're looking at, in order to remember bits and pieces -- some good, and some bad.

This is the first week, in two years, that I have worked a full-time schedule. I have had the benefit of being able to keep my job for the past three years, because the position I hold allows Me to keep my job, so long as I have worked one eight-hour shift every thirty days. Primarily, for the past year and a half, that's exactly... Read More

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So lately, I have noticed that I don't seem to have much to say at AA meetings. I am almost (God wiling) 3 years sober in about a month, and I still attend meetings almost daily. For the past couple of months, I haven't had to much to say at all. Like really short shares, or just saying "I'm just here to listen, thanks". Since I came to AA, I have always had lots to say. I feel like sometimes people are looking at Me weird since I am not saying much, maybe because they are used to... Read More

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It happens now and again to me.  I'm just going along minding my own business and suddenly I drop into a black hole. For a few days everything looks extremely gloomy and discouraging and I get some rather wierd ideas.  These emotional pot holes vary in their intensity and in the length of time I am in them (I like to think I have got a lot better at climbing out as I have got older) who knows what causes them, could be hormones or just the way I am made. 

As some m... Read More

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So I have a nightly meditation book that I read and journal on. The reading for tonight really got Me thinking. Things have been so crappy right now and I’ve been so depressed, and it’s starting to drive Me crazy. No one knows how I really feel, they just assume I’m happy. What, just because I’m not laying in bed crying means I’m not depressed? Yeah right. Anyway…here’s what I wrote:

“A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness.” — Fontenelle

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