My family history includes a colourful collection of alcoholics and drug users. And despite my generalized fear of booze and drugs and their effects, and the belief that I - one of four siblings - was unlikely to become a substance abuser, that has not been the case. I've been a problem drinker and pot smoker who has used both to numb out.
I believe that, based on my family history that even if I'd never used anything, I would still be the equivalent of a dry drunk. So unruly and inconsistent was the parenting that my sibs and I received that it was likely that we would become either users or sober - but loopy - people. I know it's not enough to not use, that it's critical to work a program that helps me keep my feet on the ground.
I spent six years in Al-Anon in a group specifically for Adult Children of Alcoholics, and it did me a world of good. Unfortunately, I came to believe that I really didn't need a program anymore. After all, I'd worked through the steps, I'd had sponsors, I did the "do things." Yet, lo and behold, where am I now?
Sometimes I'm too smart for my own good. A sponsor once told me there was "no one to stupid for A.A. or Al-Anon, but there are plenty of people who think they're too smart for it." I've been humbled.
Greetings to all who find themselves looking for answers and hope in learning to live this terrible-magnificent thing we call life.
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