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DennisS
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Mistaking life on life's terms

2 User Type: Group Leader

Mood: Peaceful Peaceful
mem_lead OFFLINE
Male
58 years old
Ridgecrest, California
United States
Profile Views: 5825
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Most anything with semi-intelligent words in a row.
Fiction Preferences: Science fiction (many old and some new), adventure.
Non-fiction Preferences: The AA BB, 12&12, Grapevine, theology (you may consider that fiction, but I don't).
"The Serenity Prayer" by William V. Piestch
"The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer
"Came to Believe" by AA Services

Ones where the good guy wins. It doesn't always come out that way in real life, but we all have to have our fantasies.

Wood working (I find it a good way to stay out of my head - if nothing else so I can keep all my fingers), old cars, getting in trouble, getting out of trouble, untangling the knots in my head, blogging

02/07/2010 08:31:27
01/22/2010 22:52:08
01/19/2010 21:48:35
01/16/2010 09:59:51
01/10/2010 10:16:01


Hallucinogenic Drug Recovery, Prince George Band of Brothers, Restoration of Self, Spirituality,What it means...., Just Like Meetings






Greetings....
I am a mid 50's programmer/engineering manager. Workaholic (seems like us holics can't just have one - we just pile them on). Finally growing up and learning how to enjoy my life - one day at a time. Realizing that the good life isn't stuff or all about me.
I started the really dumb part of my life when I was 16 or so. I was one of the ones that fell in love with alcohol. The taste, the feel, and especially the effect. I was no longer one of the hangers-on, also-ran, what-his-name people. I was right in the middle of the "in" crowd. I was cool. For a while...
Put the emphasis on "was". Now it's 1968 and the social revolution here is on full swing. With some prodding from the local authorities I ended up attending another social revolution. My part ended up in a small country full of rice paddies. The main idea was to chase small people who didn't want us there all over the countryside so we could kill them for their own good (Yeah, go figure). BUT - there was even more alcohol and it was easier to get. Being part of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children had its benefits - cheap booze. I ended up in various places with them for almost a double handful of years. Just them, me and my buddy Al. In and out of trouble countless times.
One really good thing that happened towards the end of my time in the Corps - I met she who was to be my wife. I actually slowed down, cut back and tried to act like an adult. For a while...
I ended up working for a company doing weapons systems work (it was all I really knew other than drinking). So I spent more years - again all over the world working and drinking in exotic places. I attribute this to aiding in keeping my marriage in one piece - she didn't have to put up with my drunken foolishness all the time. After Desert Shield and Desert Storm, I promised her no more getting involved with people that don't seem to appreciate me (like stop the death wish thing). For a while...
So we settled down to a blissful, quiet married life. My drinking over the next 16 years (the blissful part - ignorance IS bliss, ain't it?) and her quietly (yep, the quiet part) watching me withdraw even further from everything and everybody and drinking myself to death. This piece of my life ended when she (with help from others) convinced me to either get my act together or go die on my own time.
The choice was obvious (even to a fool like me) - I'm still here. Spent almost a month in rehab where I came out with a Senior Partner that I don't understand (and don't need to). Between that and Alcoholics Anonymous I've learned so far:
A few basic truths about myself - pretty ugly if I do say so myself. And I do.
How to fix those flaws.
How to not drink - one day at a time.
The real difference between spirituality and religion is the first has God, the other has His words. I don't have all his words, but he's sitting here next to me as I edit this.
I'll stick with the first - it actually means something to me.
All people are not like me (lucky them) so I shouldn't compare my insides with their outsides.
I don't have to hate myself for what I have done.
I don't have to hate others for what I think they did to me.
I have to be able forgive myself before I can expect others to forgive me.
I am responsible for my actions, no one else can make me do wrong things.
I am not responsible for others actions.
Life is always throwing curveballs - it's the fastballs that can hurt.
Being humble is a good thing.
Being humble does not mean I let people use me for a barnyard shoe scraper.
Doing the steps does not mean when I feel like it.
"Practice these principles in all our affairs" doesn't mean on alternate Tuesdays.
There is nothing so bad that I have to drink over it.
There is nothing so good that I have to drink over it.
Meditiation is not just for "those" people (you know who I mean).
God is not just for Jesus freaks.
Addiction to mind altering substances is a treatable disease, just like diabetes.
I can't stop my treatments for this disease (I lost the death wish).
I can be cool without drinking (wish I'd known this a million years ago).

5/7/2009
Now it's been two years. A pretty amazing period of time for this drunk - notably marked by many extended segments of time where sanity and peace reigned over my life. I spend a fair amount of time doing what I did when I first got here - if for no other reason than doing it seems to keep that sanity around. I've managed to keep clean and sober just for the fact that clean and sober is easier to deal with than dirty and drunk. And life becomes easier to plod through if I'm not staggering around like a clown in an earthquake.
There is also the outside chance that I can help another - something I cannot do if I'm falling down stupid. I find working with others (just like the BB says) goes a long way towards keeping me centered, willing to be willing and spiritually teachable. Because if I ain't got it, I can't give it away.
If anyone reading this is wondering if it is all worth it - that admission of insanity and unmanageability, finding a God that I don't have to understand, living the steps, working with others, I believe it is.
Life is good today. Not perfect - but then neither am I. But good - just as good as I need it to be today...
Nuff Said

Straight talk, fishing, camping, knotty problems, words (especially twisting them aorund to make lousy puns and bad jokes), quiet time, reading, and... my wife (who happens to also be my best friend).
In retrospect, I'll add this website - since I love to learn, I find it a place I can learn to love.

Get your own countUP at BlingyBlob.com

Avocado, squash,little ankle biting alligators, politicians and their minions.




Displaying 10 out of 1787 comments
From: rterrymcintyre
03/09/2010 13:27:47


And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some
person,
place, thing, or situation,
some fact of my life,
unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until
I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as
being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this
moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in
God's
world
by mistake.


From: rterrymcintyre
03/08/2010 21:37:00

Photobucket
There is nothing you need to get, find or acquire to be enlightened. You don't need a teacher or a guru. You don't need a priest or rabbi to intercede with God for you. You don't need a special technique or meditation practice. You don't need to memorize scripture or engage in esoteric breathing practices. Looking for spirituality outside yourself is a dead end.



From: rterrymcintyre
03/07/2010 17:21:30

shakra Pictures, Images and Photos
Trust your Higher Power

May today there be peace within.
May you trust your Highest Power
that you are exactly where you are
meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities
that are born of faith. May you use those gifts
that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow
your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun.



From: Nia
03/05/2010 08:23:29

So, how is life ?    Nia



From: rterrymcintyre
03/02/2010 11:32:40

I'm Slipping
When I begin to dislike AA conversation and company... When I deliberately stay away from meetings.... When I am beginning to take your inventory, instead of my own.... When I am more afraid to be known as an AAer than a drunk..... When I begin to remember the good times that I had drinking and overlook the bad.... When I begin to condemn in others that which I tolerate in myself.... When I shrink from self-examination.... I'm slipping.



From: Amy65
03/02/2010 10:25:48

Thanks Dennis!



From: rterrymcintyre
02/28/2010 12:30:52



There were once three frogs on a log and one of them
made a decision to jump in. How many were left?
Answer: There are still three frogs on a log, he only
made a decision, he took no action! Until we were
miserable enough to have the willingness to jump
in with both feet and try something different we did
not get sober. Today I am grateful for the day I finally
arrived at that “jumping off” place, where I could no
longer face the misery of living with alcohol but could
not live without it.



From: Broken1
02/27/2010 23:52:53

I need to tell you that I am very greatful for all you've done for me here...I know I don't offer much support and encourgement like I should and I'm not making excuses but it takes all I have, emotionally, mentally and physically when I post something personal from my life...And, after I do that, I always disappear for a while so I can get my head wrapped around what has happened...But you are always there for me and I wish that I could give you a hug to show my appreciation, but I can't...All I can give you are my words...Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not giving up on me, for supporting me and consoling me... 



From: Nancy
02/27/2010 13:07:02

Good Weekend



From: rterrymcintyre
02/25/2010 16:26:08

Photobucket


“I have placed both operation and myself in God's hands. I'm going to do what it takes to get sober and stay that way.” "Just before they stopped [at the hospital, where Dr. Bob was to perform surgery], Bill, who also had his practical side, gave him a bottle of beer...The bottle of beer Bill gave him that morning was the last drink he [Dr. Bob] ever had. "Although arguments have been and will be made for other significant occasions in A.A. history, it is generally agreed that Alcoholics Anonymous began there, in Akron, on that date: June 10, 1935."


From "Two alcoholics meet:" c. 1980, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, pages 74-75 A.A. Timeline History www.alcoholicsanonymous.9f.com/aa_history_timeline.htm




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