Ones where the good guy wins. It doesn't always come out that way in real life, but we all have to have our fantasies.

Most anything with semi-intelligent words in a row.
Fiction Preferences: Science fiction (many old and some new), adventure.
Non-fiction Preferences: The AA BB, 12&12, Grapevine, theology (you may consider that fiction, but I don't).
"The Serenity Prayer" by William V. Piestch
"The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer
"Came to Believe" by AA Services

Wood working (I find it a good way to stay out of my head - if nothing else so I can keep all my fingers), old cars, getting in trouble, getting out of trouble, untangling the knots in my head, blogging

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Greetings....
I am a mid 50's programmer/engineering manager. Workaholic (seems like us holics can't just have one - we just pile them on). Finally growing up and learning how to enjoy my life - one day at a time. Realizing that the good life isn't stuff or all about me.
I started the really dumb part of my life when I was 16 or so. I was one of the ones that fell in love with alcohol. The taste, the feel, and especially the effect. I was no longer one of the hangers-on, also-ran, what-his-name people. I was right in the middle of the "in" crowd. I was cool. For a while...
Put the emphasis on "was". Now it's 1968 and the social revolution here is on full swing. With some prodding from the local authorities I ended up attending another social revolution. My part ended up in a small country full of rice paddies. The main idea was to chase small people who didn't want us there all over the countryside so we could kill them for their own good (Yeah, go figure). BUT - there was even more alcohol and it was easier to get. Being part of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children had its benefits - cheap booze. I ended up in various places with them for almost a double handful of years. Just them, me and my buddy Al. In and out of trouble countless times.
One really good thing that happened towards the end of my time in the Corps - I met she who was to be my wife. I actually slowed down, cut back and tried to act like an adult. For a while...
I ended up working for a company doing weapons systems work (it was all I really knew other than drinking). So I spent more years - again all over the world working and drinking in exotic places. I attribute this to aiding in keeping my marriage in one piece - she didn't have to put up with my drunken foolishness all the time. After Desert Shield and Desert Storm, I promised her no more getting involved with people that don't seem to appreciate me (like stop the death wish thing). For a while...
So we settled down to a blissful, quiet married life. My drinking over the next 16 years (the blissful part - ignorance IS bliss, ain't it?) and her quietly (yep, the quiet part) watching me withdraw even further from everything and everybody and drinking myself to death. This piece of my life ended when she (with help from others) convinced me to either get my act together or go die on my own time.
The choice was obvious (even to a fool like me) - I'm still here. Spent almost a month in rehab where I came out with a Senior Partner that I don't understand (and don't need to). Between that and Alcoholics Anonymous I've learned so far:
A few basic truths about myself - pretty ugly if I do say so myself. And I do.
How to fix those flaws.
How to not drink - one day at a time.
The real difference between spirituality and religion is the first has God, the other has His words. I don't have all his words, but he's sitting here next to me as I edit this.
I'll stick with the first - it actually means something to me.
All people are not like me (lucky them) so I shouldn't compare my insides with their outsides.
I don't have to hate myself for what I have done.
I don't have to hate others for what I think they did to me.
I have to be able forgive myself before I can expect others to forgive me.
I am responsible for my actions, no one else can make me do wrong things.
I am not responsible for others actions.
Life is always throwing curveballs - it's the fastballs that can hurt.
Being humble is a good thing.
Being humble does not mean I let people use me for a barnyard shoe scraper.
Doing the steps does not mean when I feel like it.
"Practice these principles in all our affairs" doesn't mean on alternate Tuesdays.
There is nothing so bad that I have to drink over it.
There is nothing so good that I have to drink over it.
Meditiation is not just for "those" people (you know who I mean).
God is not just for Jesus freaks.
Addiction to mind altering substances is a treatable disease, just like diabetes.
I can't stop my treatments for this disease (I lost the death wish).
I can be cool without drinking (wish I'd known this a million years ago).

5/6/2008
It's been a year. Time had passed like water over a falls. I can still remember the day I had my last drink. I can also remember when the desire for alcohol was stripped from me overnight. I still remember the harm I caused to others. I also remember the day I could once again look at myself in a mirror and not cringe. I've managed not to drink in the last 365 days. With the Grace of God I won't take one tomorrow.
I've lost a lot of old aquaintances, and made many fast friends. People that I understand and respect - and that do the same for me. My wife has stuck with me (only God knows why and He ain't telling). Life hasn't changed much - but my perception sure has.
The people here have been a mainstay of my recovery. I have learned much, things I have been able to apply to my life and share with others in the physical world. I'd list them all out, but they know who they are - and I thank them with all my heart.
If you are new to here and recovery, trust in this - It is real, it works, and it's worth it. All you have to do is want it more than anything else in life.
Nuff said.

Straight talk, fishing, camping, knotty problems, words (especially twisting them aorund to make lousy puns and bad jokes), quiet time, reading, and... my wife (who happens to also be my best friend).
In retrospect, I'll add this website - since I love to learn, I find it a place I can learn to love.

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