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DennisS
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Mistaking life on life's terms

2 User Type: Group Leader

Mood: Peaceful Peaceful
mem_lead OFFLINE
Male
59 years old
Ridgecrest, California
United States
Profile Views: 5996
[ 5697 ]




Most anything with semi-intelligent words in a row.
Fiction Preferences: Science fiction (many old and some new), adventure.
Non-fiction Preferences: The AA BB, 12&12, Grapevine, theology (you may consider that fiction, but I don't).
"The Serenity Prayer" by William V. Piestch
"The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer
"Came to Believe" by AA Services

Ones where the good guy wins. It doesn't always come out that way in real life, but we all have to have our fantasies.

Wood working (I find it a good way to stay out of my head - if nothing else so I can keep all my fingers), old cars, getting in trouble, getting out of trouble, untangling the knots in my head, blogging

06/22/2010 08:50:57
06/19/2010 08:39:59
06/16/2010 20:21:34
03/26/2010 18:16:50
02/07/2010 08:31:27


Hallucinogenic Drug Recovery, Prince George Band of Brothers, Restoration of Self, Spirituality,What it means...., Just Like Meetings






Greetings....
I am a mid 50's programmer/engineering manager. Workaholic (seems like us holics can't just have one - we just pile them on). Finally growing up and learning how to enjoy my life - one day at a time. Realizing that the good life isn't stuff or all about me.
I started the really dumb part of my life when I was 16 or so. I was one of the ones that fell in love with alcohol. The taste, the feel, and especially the effect. I was no longer one of the hangers-on, also-ran, what-his-name people. I was right in the middle of the "in" crowd. I was cool. For a while...
Put the emphasis on "was". Now it's 1968 and the social revolution here is on full swing. With some prodding from the local authorities I ended up attending another social revolution. My part ended up in a small country full of rice paddies. The main idea was to chase small people who didn't want us there all over the countryside so we could kill them for their own good (Yeah, go figure). BUT - there was even more alcohol and it was easier to get. Being part of Uncle Sam's Misguided Children had its benefits - cheap booze. I ended up in various places with them for almost a double handful of years. Just them, me and my buddy Al. In and out of trouble countless times.
One really good thing that happened towards the end of my time in the Corps - I met she who was to be my wife. I actually slowed down, cut back and tried to act like an adult. For a while...
I ended up working for a company doing weapons systems work (it was all I really knew other than drinking). So I spent more years - again all over the world working and drinking in exotic places. I attribute this to aiding in keeping my marriage in one piece - she didn't have to put up with my drunken foolishness all the time. After Desert Shield and Desert Storm, I promised her no more getting involved with people that don't seem to appreciate me (like stop the death wish thing). For a while...
So we settled down to a blissful, quiet married life. My drinking over the next 16 years (the blissful part - ignorance IS bliss, ain't it?) and her quietly (yep, the quiet part) watching me withdraw even further from everything and everybody and drinking myself to death. This piece of my life ended when she (with help from others) convinced me to either get my act together or go die on my own time.
The choice was obvious (even to a fool like me) - I'm still here. Spent almost a month in rehab where I came out with a Senior Partner that I don't understand (and don't need to). Between that and Alcoholics Anonymous I've learned so far:
A few basic truths about myself - pretty ugly if I do say so myself. And I do.
How to fix those flaws.
How to not drink - one day at a time.
The real difference between spirituality and religion is the first has God, the other has His words. I don't have all his words, but he's sitting here next to me as I edit this.
I'll stick with the first - it actually means something to me.
All people are not like me (lucky them) so I shouldn't compare my insides with their outsides.
I don't have to hate myself for what I have done.
I don't have to hate others for what I think they did to me.
I have to be able forgive myself before I can expect others to forgive me.
I am responsible for my actions, no one else can make me do wrong things.
I am not responsible for others actions.
Life is always throwing curveballs - it's the fastballs that can hurt.
Being humble is a good thing.
Being humble does not mean I let people use me for a barnyard shoe scraper.
Doing the steps does not mean when I feel like it.
"Practice these principles in all our affairs" doesn't mean on alternate Tuesdays.
There is nothing so bad that I have to drink over it.
There is nothing so good that I have to drink over it.
Meditiation is not just for "those" people (you know who I mean).
God is not just for Jesus freaks.
Addiction to mind altering substances is a treatable disease, just like diabetes.
I can't stop my treatments for this disease (I lost the death wish).
I can be cool without drinking (wish I'd known this a million years ago).

5/7/2009
Now it's been two years. A pretty amazing period of time for this drunk - notably marked by many extended segments of time where sanity and peace reigned over my life. I spend a fair amount of time doing what I did when I first got here - if for no other reason than doing it seems to keep that sanity around. I've managed to keep clean and sober just for the fact that clean and sober is easier to deal with than dirty and drunk. And life becomes easier to plod through if I'm not staggering around like a clown in an earthquake.
There is also the outside chance that I can help another - something I cannot do if I'm falling down stupid. I find working with others (just like the BB says) goes a long way towards keeping me centered, willing to be willing and spiritually teachable. Because if I ain't got it, I can't give it away.
If anyone reading this is wondering if it is all worth it - that admission of insanity and unmanageability, finding a God that I don't have to understand, living the steps, working with others, I believe it is.
Life is good today. Not perfect - but then neither am I. But good - just as good as I need it to be today...
Nuff Said

Straight talk, fishing, camping, knotty problems, words (especially twisting them aorund to make lousy puns and bad jokes), quiet time, reading, and... my wife (who happens to also be my best friend).
In retrospect, I'll add this website - since I love to learn, I find it a place I can learn to love.

Get your own countUP at BlingyBlob.com

Avocado, squash,little ankle biting alligators, politicians and their minions.




Displaying 10 out of 1851 comments
From: findingmyself73
09/02/2010 17:01:33


DennisS wrote:


Shannon -




The best way to put that is better than some and worse than others. My emphysema is doing a fair-to-middling job of beating me up most days of late. I've started to try and get back into doing the things I can. How about you?




Hugs,




Dennis



Well I have my moments...some good, some not so good. I have had a rough couple months, but I feel a little better knowing I can go back to work. I will have less time to think about everything that is bothering me. Always good to get out of your head.


I hope you start feeling better Dennis, hang in there. HUGS



From: findingmyself73
09/01/2010 00:12:08

Hi Dennis, my friend.....How are you?



From: Raptelan
08/30/2010 00:14:18

You have a very inspiring profile sir.  I rather enjoyed reading over your list of learned things a few times...



From: flowerchildofjc
08/26/2010 17:09:45




From: rterrymcintyre
08/26/2010 13:10:58


 

The light of HP surrounds us.
The love of HP enfolds us.
The power of HP protects us.
The Presence of HP watches over us.
Wherever we are, our HP is and all is well.


From: rterrymcintyre
08/25/2010 13:02:51

 




Step Zero


We Felt


Restless, Irritable, and Discontent.

Apart from, not a Part of.

Progressive Patterns of Dishonesty.



From: Godluvsall
08/14/2010 17:46:16

Saying hello.  Planning week over and the start of my 23rd year is Monday.


A lot going on, but with God's Grace, I'll make it another year like always:)


Hope all is well!


HUGS, Tina



From: rterrymcintyre
08/04/2010 13:07:47

It's always with excitement that I wake up in the morning
wondering what my intuition will toss up to me
like gifts from the sea. I work with it
and rely upon it. It's my partner.
-- Jonas Salk


From: rterrymcintyre
07/31/2010 02:18:17


Resentment is the mortar that holds

 the bricks together in a wall of
alienation and despair.


Two and a Half Men ( season 5 )


From: rterrymcintyre
07/19/2010 21:47:08


Photobucket
When someone asks me to sponsor them,
it is an honor and a privilege.
Little do they know, that they are sponsoring me.
This is about the therapeutic value
of one person helping another.
Sponsorship is a two way street.
Having a relationship with your sponsor
is the only way to learn to live your life,
that you know nothing about.
A sponsor is only as good as your ability to use him/her.
If you don't call your sponsor, you don't have a sponsor.

 




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