WHERE'S THE ACID MAN??? THESE PICS ARE LIKE SO TOTALLY TRIPPY MAN!!! (lol ... I still get tripped out and I've been off the stuff for 85 days ... lol)
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HE IS SOOO F***ing HOT!!! I LOVE JOHNNY DEPP!!! THE THINGS I WOULD LOVE TO DO TO THIS MAN! I WISH I COULD FIND A NUDE PIC OF THIS MAN ... I WANT TO SEE HIS MEAT!!!
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It started with a cigarette at the age of 10. Then, it seems like over night, it ended with a crack pipe hanging out of my mouth and my heart about to burst at the age of 24.
14 years of my life was freely given to narcotics. 14 years of my life was spent chasing that first high as well as finding myslef. 14 years of life are gone, done, and past, but the nightmare is still very much alive.
Is it possible to feel just as uncomfortable off of drugs as you were on drugs? Will I ever be back in touch with reality? Where does a bisexual male go for experience, strength, and hope? Why doesn't NA have ANY gay meetings? Are there really more queers and lesbos that are rocovering alcoholics then there are recovering addicts? Does my sexuality put me in a minority group of NA as a whole? Is there any help for a bisexual addict seeking recovery from the nightmare that brought him to his knees time and time again?
I'm a junkie who sees no purpose in life ever since I gave up the drugs. I'm a gutter trash whore that was making 3 to 4 hundred dollars a night to now making nothing a night. I'm a garbage head who went from having hope to being completely and utterly hopeless.
I'M DOUG AND I'M STRUGGLING WITH BEING A RECOVERING ADDICT.
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A lot of my turn ons are dream and wish like. I'll give you some examples ...
Waking up in the morning with my boyfriend and watching the sun rise together ...
Holding hands with my boyfriend and taking a walk under the stars ...
Cuddling up close with my boyfriend on the couch as we watch tv or a movie ...
Making sweet, intimate, and passionate love with my boyfriend ...
I have a lot more, but what's the point in listing them when they'll probably never come true and remain dream and wish like for all of time?
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Welcome..! Just keep on coming back. You didn't become an addict over night, so your just going to have to take it one day at a time in recovery. But in the mean time, just so you know, feel free to be yourself around here. Ain't no one here gonna sweat you. We are all here for the same reasons you are, to recover...
Now about gay NA/AA meetings and why don't they have them..??... shit...come to L.A. They're are listed in our directory. If you need a reason to see for yourself, click on the EVENTS link above for info about ICYPAA.
Welcome Doug, I felt a lot like you so many times. I drank for 20 years. I was in an abusive marriage with a child and saw no way out. I almost killed myself 3 times because,"everyone else would be better off without me, right?" Pain was too much. Then, my husband left me after 17 years and I didn't know what to do, who I was, how to take care of myself, so I drank more. I was losing my child and I hated myself so much. Then one day, it hit me. I wanted to be FREE. At first, at the meetings, I hated it, yeah right I said. But I wanted it bad enough, so I tried.
As far as your sexual identity, that's your choice, I never judge. It must be hard, but reaching out is the first step to find progress. This site is amazing and you will find many friends here. I moved to a new city and know no one, so I come here. You are excepted, loved and you can get things off your chest.
Please, give this a chance. Get things off your mind and soul. Be Safe!!
