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ANDIExhuffelx
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my body is a canvas, not a drum

1 User Type: Standard
mem_normal OFFLINE
Female
25 years old
LOST IN, Utah
Profile Views: 225
[ 52 ]


SOBRIETY DAY:
10
SOBRIETY MONTH:
12
SOBRIETY YEAR:
2007
ORIENTATION:
Not Sure
JOB:
Art
RELIGION:
Christian
ADDICTION:
Anorexia/bulimia
SEEKING:
Support
MEMBER SINCE: 12/04/2007
LAST LOGIN: 01/12/2008 20:51:02
MY RATING: 0.00

music is the air i breathe
and i could never cage it in
to be one genre that fills
my lungs and my ears.

i'm an aspiring fiction writer,
and i am awesome at it =]

ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
MARIE ANTOINETTE
anything that effects me emotionally or artistically


and COMEDY,
i'm a big laugher =]

writing
snowboarding

01/10/2008 03:46:33
01/10/2008 03:40:07
01/09/2008 02:16:18
01/09/2008 00:09:12


Eating disorders







you can call me andie.

i am a crystallized rainbow,

there are many different colors
and sides to my personality;
but when the light hits me just right,
all of those different sides and colors
split into a million other colors and sides.
but when you look at me as is,
there is just one simply plain white girl
who stands before you wishing she was a rainbow.
maybe one day she will see it too.


i'm trying to recover from an eating disorder mainly.
while attempting this in the past i seem to trade one addiction for another.
i don't want to do that this time.
alcoholism and drug addiction run very strongly in both sides of my family;
i fear i am on the tipping edge of becoming an alcoholic,
tho the fear is not enough to force me to stop partying on the weekends,
and drinking to "better" my writing...
which also leads me further to believe i am headed in that direction.
i used to self harm quite often, but have recently stopped unless hysterically upset.
i now self harm in much more discrete ways such as using my eating disorder,
freezing myself, or forcing myself to endure anything else i find "uncomfortable".

i also suffer from depression, ocd, panic attacks, and a h*ll? of a lot of anxiety.



and i love Jesus.
i don't even remember not being a Christian.
i remember accepting Christ when i was a child,
and nothing much before that.



writing
art
snowboarding
reading
beauty
romance
nature
camping
animals
the medical field
funny people
genuine people with a lot of heart

show offs
cocky people
germs
"Christians" who judge from their high horse and misunderstand the Bible's message that God is the only one who can judge and that we are ALL sinners, not just the gays and other religions... urgh! that just irks me to the core. Jesus teaches LOVE not HATE and criticism.




Displaying 10 out of 27 comments
From: pikkunen
02/10/2008 03:39:51
Just wanted to pop by and say hello to you. Hope you are hanging in there, one day at a time! 


From: Godluvsall
01/13/2008 09:04:14
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Hugs, Tina


From: cardinalp
01/08/2008 20:52:29

find and share recovery images at anonymousspace.com


From: chopper1
12/31/2007 19:41:30


From: chopper1
12/30/2007 14:15:59


From: ski4evr
12/22/2007 04:21:57
A Politically Correct Christmas Poem

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole,
were alleged by the union, to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished without much propriety,
released to the wilds, by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
that Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his beautiful sleigh,
because the ruts were deemed dangerous by the EPA,
And millions of people were calling the Cops,
when they heard sled noises upon their roof tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe, had his workers quite frightened,
and his fur trimmed red suit was called "unenlightened".

To show you the strangeness of today's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.
He went to Geraldo, in front of the Nation,
demanding millions in over-due workers compensation.

So...half of the reindeer were gone, and his wife
who suddenly said she'd had enough of this life,
joined a self help group, packed and left in a whiz,
demanding from now on that her title was Ms.

And as for gifts...why, he'd never had the notion
that making a choice could cause such commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur...
Which meant nothing for him or nothing for her.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot,
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls and nothing for just boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific,
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.

No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish upon the truth.
And fairy tales...while not yet forbidden,
were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden,
for they raised the hackles of those psychological,
who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football...someone might get hurt,
besides - playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist and should be passe.
and Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled and perplexed,
he just couldn't figure out what to do next?
He tried to be merry he tried to be gay,
but you must have to admit he was having a very bad day.
His sack was quite empty, it was flat on the ground,
nothing fully acceptable was anywhere to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might,
give to us all, without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy - with no indecision,
each group of people in every religion.
Every race, every hue,
everyone, everywhere...even you!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...


"MAY YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, ENJOY PEACE ON EARTH"


From: A_New_Life
12/19/2007 10:55:51
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How are you? I just noticed tweety's comment about glamorizing eating disorders...oh yes! I am sick of that too!! My mother-in-law actually had the nerve to say to me she wished she could have an eating disorder "just for a few days"..with her knowing my struggles I was beyond furious and hurt! It's not something funny, it's not something I would wish on anyone! okay..I'll get off my soapbox now..thanks for letting me vent!!

Hope you have a great day!


From: tweety218721
12/19/2007 06:24:32
hey! sorry i took a while to write back! do you have a facebook? i'm on there a lot more.

i'm sick of people glamorizing eating disorders too. have you seen all the pro-ana groups on myspace and facebook. it's ridiculous.

life without ed is by jenni shaffer (sp?). it's soo good. it really helped me. it showed me how to separate myself from my disorder and how to fight against it. it's divided into like 1-2 page sections too, so it was really easy to read. =)

what ended up happening with your laptop? i hope you didn't loose everything. =(

i hope you have a wonderful day!! =)


From: cardinalp
12/18/2007 22:58:34


From: loveleelady75
12/16/2007 06:54:03

find and share recovery images at anonymousspace.com



*** myRECOVERYspace ***